Walking The Walk

Sometime between his 4th or 5th pint and the other team’s 4th or 5th goal the man shakes his head and says, “This has got to stop.”

It’s unclear if he’s referring to the drinking, the game or the six hours he’s spent in the pub but that doesn’t keep the woman at the next table, a stranger, from patting him on the arm and saying, “I know what you need.”

This type of unsolicited advice is more common than ever, particularly during the holiday season, and even though the man ignores the woman’s list of books, tapes and books on tape that she “just knows” will help him, her wide-eyed enthusiasm and ever-increasing volume make it clear she’s pitching one of two things:

Religion or Self-help.

Both are big business and despite the fact that each group vehemently denies they are the other, there are similarities: Alcoholics Anonymous discusses a higher power in its 12 steps, churches regularly tell you to look for God within, and Oprah dwarfs them both.

Take a moment to consider the last piece of advice you received from a friend, family member, or stranger in a bar and chances are it falls into one of these two categories because, really, they cover everything.

Religion includes every possible faith and denomination and even the staunchest atheist will admit they have a cursory knowledge of their neighbors’ beliefs. Self-help touches on similar territory, figuratively (recovery) and literally (real estate).

Both groups stress the importance of walking the walk, but walk on what exactly?

Walking on water has come to refer to accomplishing something amazing or miraculous and while examples of it appear in the texts of different faiths, the account of Jesus’ sodden stroll is the one that we remember. His disciples were afraid and then amazed and their lives were never the same.

Fast-forward a couple thousand years and you find another charismatic teacher standing on the shore, urging his followers to change their ways. This time it’s Tony Robbins walking on fire in Hawaii. It too has been done before but it also astounds and inspires the frightened masses.

Is one walk greater than the other? Is overcoming depth more or less miraculous than overcoming temperature?

Who knows. That would require rounds of scientific testing, the likes of which both religion and self-help do their best to avoid.

* * *

Back in the pub the woman finishes describing the features and benefits of what she’s selling to the man. She runs through her pros and his cons in an efficient and orderly manner.

But the man isn’t buying it. He buys soup instead.

The deepest bowl of piping hot French Onion soup this or any bar has ever made. It’s familiar and comforting and if anyone walks across the surface of it, we’ll follow them anywhere.